Not Now But Soon
by Nozomi Ai
Summary: Risa is coming to terms with the fact that she may be in love with Riku while at the same time dealing with the fact that her dad is turning into a drunk, and now her best friend Selphie is ignoring her? Can Riku help her overcome the impossible? RikuxOc
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Riku! Nor am I making profit off of them!_

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**"We are just friends! Nothing more!" **That was what I was constantly telling myself when I would think about Riku and me holding hands, kissing, getting mar..

"Risa! Are you even listening to me?" My train of thought was immediately interrupted as Selphie yelled in my ear. "Huh? What?" I turned to look at her scrunched up face which quickly turned into a smirk. "Thinking about Riku I see? I don't see why you just don't ask him out? It's so obvious you guys have chemistry going on!" I was about to correct her with one of my sly remarks I usually give people when they analyze me...until I certain someone walked into the room.

It was him. His toned, lean body looked perfect with his white shirt and loosened tie as his platinum hair swayed with the wind. Selphie was sitting right next to me in the classroom, nudging me with her elbow. She was my best friend and the big gossiper of the town. She (and the rest of her family) knew everything about everyone and could never pass up an opportunity to tell someone. Her family was just about the only people who could get away with that and not get punched in the face. Selphie was also very athletic and popular with boys. Me on the other hand had long, straight, boring, brown hair. My eyes were green and my chest wasn't very big which topped off just ever so perfectly with my scrawny body. Selph claims I have "Amazing" hips, but I don't see it.

For the slightest second Riku and I caught each other's eyes. It felt as if the whole world had stopped. My heart accelerated and a slight blush crept up on his face. We did this a lot these days, but why did it seem as if these moments had so much meaning. Maybe I was starting to fall in lo...NO! I can't ruin the friendship we have right now, but then again, could I keep denying myself like this?

My thoughts were interrupted once again by Selphie's usual loud voice. "Here he comes!" , she said as a big smile crept up on her face. I saw her legs move and walk over to the other side of the classroom next to Tidus. I wasn't sure if she moved so she could get Riku and me alone or if it was so she could flirt with her newfound crush Tidus. According to her he spoke of nothing but pure poetry. Which to Selphie, included anything that had the words pretty and her name in the same sentence.

Riku came by and set next to me with a wondering smile.

"So you coming to my party?"

"Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world. I just have to ask my parents." My eyes dropped at the mention of my parents. I quickly hid my face, hoping he didn't notice. But, to my dismay, he did.

"Are things still not going well?" I picked up my head and looked at his face. His aquamarine eyes were filled with concern.

My parents had been having a rough patch for while now and were thinking about getting a divorce. Selphie always tells me to think positive, but it seems as if the more positive I think the worse it gets. They were so caught up in their little fighting they had practically forgotten I was there. My parents had missed a total of 4 dance recitals, 6 choir performances, and didn't even look at me twice when they saw my extremely swollen eyes from previous nights of crying. I was getting fed up with everything and at one point no one even wanted to be around me which led me into further depression and my current eating disorder nobody knows about. But even when everybody was ignoring me, **he **didn't. He had always been there for me when I needed someone most. He would listen to me, comfort me, and let me cry in his arms for hours. Maybe...NO, scratch that! I know for sure I was in love with, and whether he felt the same way or not I was going to tell at the party.

"Hey , it's no big deal! Don't worry I'll be there!"

He scanned my face. I knew he knew there was something off, but he decided to drop it.

"Alright good then!"

"Good"

---

It was the night of the party and Selphie was in my room blabbing about how cute Tidus' butt is in his blitz ball uniform. Of course, I wasn't listening to her. My head was focused on _him_ and how I was going to confess to him. Should I come right out and say 'I love you'? Or maybe I should give him subtle hints so that way if he isn't giving them back I can back away. I was going crazy about what I should do and couldn't figure out anything. So, I did the unspeakable.

I asked Selphie.

"Hey, can I ask you something serious?"

She gave me an unusual look. I could tell she was trying to read my face which at the moment was blank . Selphie hesitated to answer, "Sure, what's going on?" My face got hot all of a sudden and I made eye contact with her. "It's about Riku," Her face seemed to light up at this and her legs crossed as she bit her bottom lip. "I think...okay I know that I like him! But, I don't know how to tell him. Any suggestions?"

Not giving it a second thought she quickly responded. This worried me. "OK, how about a command? You. Ask tell him. Tonight. There will be no butts, and, or ors! Understand?" I knew that she was 100% serious and if I didn't go through with this she would make me regret it. Then again it was either now or never, right? Finally giving in I grabbed my bag and headed out f my bedroom, motioning for Selphie to quickly follow. As I rounded the corner of the stairs, there lay my father, passed out on the couch with an empty vodka bottle.

Sadness and sympathy filled my heart all at the same time as I watched him there with swollen eyes. My mother had recently packed her things and left temporarily, giving me a kiss on the forehead and a long talk that I didn't want to remember. From that day on I would just sit there by the window in my room, silent. Still deep in thought, I felt Selphie's eyes dart from me to my dad. Perhaps she knew what I was feeling at the moment, but I highly doubt it. Her small hand hesitantly came into contact with my shoulder. Me not wanting to continue with the subject, slowly nodded my head and headed for the front door and into Selphie's car.

---

The ride to Riku's house had been silent most of the way. Most likely due to shock on her behalf. She has always known my situation wasn't good. I guess she didn't know how far off it was? It was becoming extremely awkward. Even when we arrived at the curb of his house she kept silent. I had tried to say something to lighten the atmosphere, but when my eyes came into contact with hers she swiftly turned the other cheek. Feeling slightly betrayed, I darted through the long, gravel driveway of Riku's enormous house. I mean this thing was huge!

Of course, I had been here a few times, but it still amazed me every time just how big it was! Off to the side of his house was a luxurious pool along with the pool house. Expensive looking sports cars were set in front of his garage, and I swear I saw Selphie run up to one of them.

Walking up to his front door, I finally felt the butterflies flowing in my stomach. Before I could even knock, Sora was already there looking at me in awe. He put on his little goofy grin of his and spoke with near happiness, "I'm glad you're here! Riku thought you weren't coming and was bugging the hell out of me!" He gave me a weird look, like he was trying to hint at something he said. But I ignored it. I didn't need any false hope. I just nodded and walked in.

The music was blaring and teens were in every inch of the large mansion. Of course, Riku could have been spotted from a million miles away. We had made eye contact from across the room, his mouth curling up into an award winning smile! My face instantly lit up as he rushed over to me taking my hands into his. A blush slowly creped on my face from the feel of his warm hands embracing mines. "I'm glad you came. It was becoming very boring without you here!", he said in his usual cool tone.

"I think someone's over exaggerating!"

"Not at all. I'm serious about what I say and what I say is serious! You always seem to lighten my mood even on my worst days! Not too sure how you do it, but you do it every single time " His words had meant more to me then he had even known or realized. I wanted nothing more than to place his lips to mine at that very moment, but knew I couldn't. Although, I began to wonder what his reaction would be in a situation like that!

Before I could reply, my eyes caught Selphie's who was over by the punch bowl with Kairi admiring the expensive glass with a huge smile on her face. I laughed in my head. That was Selphie for you! Her smile seemed to die as I gave her a small smile. Her head slowly turning to look back at Kairi. I had noticed the sadness and guilt in her eyes, but I didn't know why she would be any of those things.

Feeling betrayed again, that sadness she had reflected in my eyes. The only person who now knew exactly what I was going through, the girl who I called 'best friend' didn't even want to have anything to do with me. Hurt, pain, guilt. All of those feelings came rushing to me at once and I knew the solution to releasing them. Prior to coming to party, I had eaten a huge meal. Well, that was about to go in the toilet!

Not feeling guilty about what I was about to do, I asked Riku where the restroom was. Thank God, he directed me to the one upstairs by his room. He said that way no one would disturb me while I was doing my business. He had said that in a playful tone, almost making fun of me. Oh how little he knew.

---

I couldn't say that throwing up healed the pain completely, but it seemed to wash it away for moments at a time when I needed it. In my black purse was a _Spinbrush_ toothbrush that I always carried in case of emergencies like such. Spitting out the water and mouthwash, I turned off the faucet and walked out the restroom. Only to be faced with person I had least expected.

It was Riku

"Risa? Did you just do what I think you just did?

Oh shit!

---

_How was that for first chapter? I feel as if it was way too short for my liking, but oh well! This is my first fanfic so I'm very excited! If you're wondering why you feel like you've read this before its because I redid the story for Thief of hearts! Also, feedback is always welcome and I'm always happy to hear suggestions! Happy reading and please review and look forward to the next chapter!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry about the holdup! I meant to do this earlier but I wanted to wait for my birthday which was Feb 5 to start writing in hopes of getting a laptop (which I did) so now I'm here and back with the story! Also thanks for my one review! Also be aware that I do switch from 3__rd__ person to 1rst. I wanted to try it out because I think in the end it will be better for the story so please share your thoughts and review!_

_---_

NO! I must be dreaming! Yes! This is all a horrible dream that I'm having. As much as I wanted to believe the lie I kept telling myself in my head, this was real. Realer than I had ever wanted it to be. So now here he was standing in front of me. Eyes filled with just as much shock as mine. I quickly shifted my eyes away from his and averted my attention to a nearby painting hanging on the wall. My words came out unsteady.

"What do you mean? I was using the restroom obviously!"

He wasn't buying it.

"I'm not stupid Risa! I know what you just did!"

I had to think quickly! Now, there were two ways out of this situation:

1. Lie (which I was no good at)

2. Tell the truth

At this moment, number one was looking pretty good, but I couldn't get away with it. I guess I had been thinking for too long because as I was collecting my thoughts for the perfect lie, I feel a stern hand grab my arm and pull me close. "Risa, last time you said everything was alright? What's really going on? Does it have something to do with your parents?" His question had set me back. Images of my mom leaving, drunk dad, and used to be friend flashed through my head! I didn't want to remember these horrible things! Not now! Not here! So why? WHY?!! Why is he doing this to me? I can't be here, not now! I was in pre breakdown mode and he didn't have to be there to witness! So I tried my best to wiggle out of his arms, but he wouldn't let me go! "Risa, you're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on!"

"WHY? WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING? Why do you care? Nobody! NOBODY! Nobody loves me or cares about me! In fact..."

My brain and body weren't functioning together. I didn't know half the words coming out of my mouth. All I knew was that my legs starting moving towards French doors that led to a balcony. My hands pushed them open and I ran to the ledge. My eyes met his wide eyes.

"…I'm probably better off dead."

---

Risa hadn't given much thought to what she was saying. This wasn't abnormal for her to feel this way. Especially when all of thoughts were piled up in one big bunch. Riku couldn't believe what she was saying. Was this what she had been going through? He was feeling really stupid for not noticing the symptoms of her depression and suffering. Then a thought had dawned him. Why did he care _so much_? I mean sure, she was his friend and friends will always care, but not to the amount of care he was feeling. Riku wanted in that moment to do something he never thought he would do to her. Ever. So, he took her frail wrist, looked deep into her watering eyes and placed his lips to her.

Risa had felt like fighting back, or slapping him for that matter. Not because the kiss hadn't become a mutual thing, but because she was confused. Why would he want to kiss someone like her? She wasn't even that attractive!

A million thoughts were swirling in her head and she hadn't even realized his lips were separate from hers . They sat there like that, staring into each other's eyes, for a few minutes. Risa was about to lean into him again until they were interrupted by a brown haired boy.

"Hey Riku! We need you back at the par…HEY!"

Sora's words had slurred when he saw their current position, her in his arms. Their faces were red as tomatoes. Of course being who he is, Sora choked out a laugh. He had found it extremely funny to see his usual laid-back friend looking completely out-of-control. "I think I'll leave you two alone," Sora said with a huge grin on his face. Risa watched him walk out waiting until he was out of hearing range. "I should probably go to."

Risa actually didn't want to leave him, but she knew that unless she wanted to have a conversion about what she had been doing then she would need to leave quick! Of course, nothing seemed to ever go her way. Riku grabbed her wrist before she could walk away and forced her to look into his eyes.

"You're not going anywhere until we talk!"

"I don't wanna talk!"

"We have to!"

"No_ WE_ don't!"

"Risa…"

She was beginning to become angry. His perseverance was messing up all of her plans.

"Nothing needs to be said! Why do you care anyway?" She had said this with maximum attitude. She figured this would make him leave her alone.

"Because I love you! Don't you realize that yet? You say nobody loves you, but here I am standing right in front of you! I love you! I do!" Sora would have cracked up at the sight of Riku. His eyes were getting watery and Riku had had his reputation for being tough. Although, Risa thought nothing of it. What had been on her mind was that someone had loved her, and they even said the words to her face! She knew he hadn't been lying by the look he had on his face. Risa reached out to put her arms around him, but she hesitated. It had been quite some time that she had showed any real affection to anybody.

Riku felt her hesitance and pulled her close so she wouldn't have to do it herself. The feeling he had right now was great. Even though he wanted her to stop what she was doing and confess everything to him, he knew it would take time. Lucky for her he was a very patient man. Riku snapped out of his trance when she spoke. Her soft and slightly broken voice was like a sweet melody to him.

"I lo...love…you too. I don't think that…I…I just don't want to talk just yet. I kn…"

"It's okay Risa! I know it's hard to talk right now so I won't make you. But, when you're ready, just know you have someone who loves you very much to talk to and help you through it!"

"I know! Thank you! Thank you so much!"

For the first time in a long time, a smile appeared on her face. Not the usual fake ones she put on for everyone, but an actual, genuine smile. She didn't have to suffer anymore. She had finally found someone to be there for her and she couldn't be any happier! Sure, the process to fixing her would be long and hard, but at least she wouldn't do it alone!

At that moment Sora popped out from behind the wall to make fun of Riku. They continued to bicker all of the way back to the party with Risa smiling the whole way down.

Yes, life was going to be worth living.

---

"So what does it feel like to be the new you?" Riku had asked Risa as she stepped into the passenger seat of his car.

"Just because I get a new hairstyle doesn't mean I'm a new me!" Risa exclaimed grinning at his comment. Even though what he said about her being the New Risa was true, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of admitting it.

The car stopped at the driveway of Riku's house. Wait, scratch that! It was the driveway of their house, considering she had just moved there a few months ago. It was all a part of Riku's idea of "Starting Fresh". That, and something else as well.

_Whatever that's supposed to mean_! She had thought to herself.

As she glanced out of the window she accidently caught a glimpse of her covered middle finger. That's when a thought struck her.

"So, don't you think it's time to set a date?"

"A date for what?" Riku said jokingly.

Risa playfully punched his shoulder. "You know what I mean!" He slightly laughed at her while at the same time reaching across the seat to lay a gentle kiss to her lips. This causes her to raise her hand and glance at the expensive ring. "Starting fresh, huh?" Her voice was wondering as she dazed off into the rings glow. Riku just sighed as he carefully put his hand to her thigh.

"Yeah! Starting fresh! So, what do you say to eight months from now?"

"That long?" Riku had to force back a laugh at how much of a baby she had sounded like when she said that.

"How about 5 months from now?"

"I think that's a perfect idea!"

Finally, things were falling into place little by little. It was almost as if all of those things that happened before the party 3 years ago had never happened.

Things were finally coming together.

Not now, but soon.

---

_Yahoo!!!! Finally! I'm not to sure about this ending, but I think it's acceptable! I'm really sorry about the long wait! I'm also very sorry about just ending this like this. I had originally planned for this to be a long story, but then I realized that this story was kind of hard to work with and it just wasn't going to happen without it sucking really badly. Anyway, do not fret though! I will be making more stories about KH! I might possibly do some in game couples! I have one that I'm thinking about that I believe will be really good even if you don't like the couple._

_Well, I'm out!_


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